Sometimes, you’ve been friends with someone really long. Then something shifts: It dawns on you that you’re perfect together, things are magical when you’re with her, and everything falls into place! Yet you have spent so long in the friend-zone, and now you don’t want to screw things up by uttering those three words. But you can’t help yourself – you so badly want to graduate from friend to boyfriend.
I agree, you got a tough one there. But, it’s do-able 🙂
Just-Friends No More
Now guys, I am assuming here that you are a nice person, she feels comfortable with you, and the two of you have a great time together. That’s great news.
But then, please realize it’s only in movies that the girl suddenly hears the right romantic music. And that music helps her figure out that she’s been dating loser guys who don’t deserve her. And that her true love (that’s you!) was right next to her all along!
So if you want more, shake things up a bit. Like, you obviously can’t play wingman, loveguru and shrink for her anymore.
So start dropping appropriate hints and start taking on the role of a lover, than just a good friend!
Turn on the Charm
If you want to graduate from friend to boyfriend, you also have to make the transition from sweet & dependable to hot and desirable. (Girls fall back on makeup, and it’s perfectly fair if you call some super-hero grooming products to your rescue!)
And, anything that makes you unattractive to her – all those things need to go. So, getting too drunk and throwing up in front of her, bitching about your exes, that’s a no-no.
No more teasing her about her appearance or anything that may make her physically conscious. If you do that, she’ll assume that you don’t find her attractive, and that you have no interest in dating her.
Instead, start dropping the right hints. Begin building in some intimacy that’s more romantic than friendly. Eyes can say so much – use some private moments to convey how you feel by the way you look at her.
Trail Of Cues
If you’ve been friends for really long before you felt there was more to it, I am guessing your friends tease you about it. Maybe you could use that to your advantage.
The next time they link you, or tease the two of you “Come on. Can’t you see how perfect you are for each other? Admit it, guys!”
You can wait for them to leave, look her directly in the eye and tell her “Okay, I admit it. I think we’re perfect for each other, and not just as best friends. Will you please give it a thought?”
If she’s been responding to your friend to boyfriend transition cues, you can try the light loving touch. Of course, that’s tricky. In case you’re not sure if you’ll come across as a creep, it’s perfectly okay to ask her “Can I hold your hand?”
Those Three Magical Words
Now that kind of homework is needed, so that you don’t get to hear “But I never looked at you that way!” Instead, she’s almost afraid that if you hadn’t mustered up the guts to, she may have had to ask you out instead 🙂
Sometimes guys keep putting off the asking-out bit. I understand that you’re afraid of losing what you may have now. But that’s no longer enough for you, right? So go ahead! You have to bring yourself to utter those three words.
Thing is, the longer you wait, the more time you’re spending in the friend-zone. I mean, at this rate you’ll soon make the friend-zone your real home, and move in there with furniture! Don’t, just don’t wait so long!
See you have so much to your advantage. You know everything about her, and you can weave in all those dreams and passions of hers that only you know about (as well as your secret jokes maybe) into a perfectly-timed, perfectly-themed I Love You.
In any case, true friendship is about sharing your feelings, right? Be positive. See how nicely things worked out for Monica and Chandler, and for Robin and Ted -Ya, references from Friends and How I Met Your Mother are the best pep-talk I can give you 😉