By Vidya Shastri
Babies giving sleepless nights, toddler meltdowns, mumps, measles, school work and exams…just when you thought you have seen it all as a parent, comes Teenage. Fiery and rebellious or eyes rolling and temperamental, teenagers can be quite a handful. Here is a guide to handle them with care.
Proof of the pudding
After a stressful day’s work you get home hoping for a quiet oasis, instead find a raging argument, and before you know you get drawn into it which results in everyone retiring in a bad temper? Teenagers are under constant pressure to prove themselves to their peers and adults. This is the time they are building their confidence and the reason why they love to win arguments. Don’t fall into this trap. Share your point of view without refusing to get drawn into a verbal battle.
Rebel without a cause
Teenage is the first step of your child’s independent life. Your teen will constantly try to pull away from your grip, especially if you are the parent they are close to or if you are the one that wears the pants in the house. They will rebel your rules, make mistakes and try to come out getting their way. Instead of taking it personally, deal calmly and firmly. Explain your decisions and rules, the consequences of your teen’s actions and use a combination of love and discipline to win them over.
Its only hormones
High running emotions, melodrama, using ‘adult’ phrases and mood swings will be a common occurrence with teens in the house. Handle it with balance, ignoring some of the issues, while listening empathetically to others. Too much attention their melodrama will make them feel that emotional pitch is the way to win things in life. However, completely ignoring what bothers them will turn them into cold adults, who will treat themselves and others harshly.
Dad or friend?
This one’s a tough call. Friendly is good but over-friendly will land you in trouble as your child will refuse to respect or listen to you as a parent when you want to guide them. Too much of being a parent, will isolate your teen and they will hide from you what’s going on in their lives. The trick is to alternate the friend and parent part with your spouse. When your spouse plays the trusting, friendly one, you can take up being the disciplinarian dad and vice versa. Single dads will have to juggle the roles.
We understand it is difficult being a role model all the time. Try your best, because your teen is watching you closely and ready to fling “If you can do it, why can’t I?” at you. Remember this before hitting the bottle at 6 pm, calling your partner nasty names, swearing, cheating, losing your temper, being a lazy slob around the house or staying glued to your gadgets. Whether they say it or not, you are the role model and your behavior will be unconsciously emulated.
The ‘Don’t do’ list
Whatever your pressures or your teenager’s behavior issues, there are a few no-nos – like hitting your teen, constantly screaming at them, belittling or mocking them. Remember, these are crucial part of their formative years and how you treat them will have a deep impact on their character, their future relationships and how they turn out as adults.
– See more at: http://www.themancompany.com/blog/cat/parenting/post/managing-hellraisers/#sthash.p5qhtu7r.dpuf